Yes, Viuam. I know the feeling. I'm ashamed & angry with myself for my entire life... As I look back I wonder... what was I thinking? ... was I thinking?... where was my brain? The thing is that, at the time, it didn't occur to me that I was doing stupid, hurtful things. So I just kept on doing more & more stupid hurtful things. Perhaps if I had been able to see what I was doing, & get some help with what was going on, I could have saved myself & others allot of pain.