Quote:
Originally Posted by The Skeezyks
Yes, Viuam. I know the feeling. I'm ashamed & angry with myself for my entire life...  As I look back I wonder... what was I thinking? ... was I thinking?... where was my brain? The thing is that, at the time, it didn't occur to me that I was doing stupid, hurtful things. So I just kept on doing more & more stupid hurtful things. Perhaps if I had been able to see what I was doing, & get some help with what was going on, I could have saved myself & others allot of pain.  |
I know... and the worst part is that now the person that I want thinks im a psycho. A couple of weeks earlier and I could have done something a little more sensible and worked on things.... and know the flip has switched, and thats it. I finally convinced my parents that I need to go to the T again, but I'm never going to get those hours back... he actually said that he was embarassed for me. I'm utterly mortified.
Even if he does actually want to contact me for lunch or something.... I would be so ashamed of myself that I wouldnt know what to say. What, if its even a possibility, can I do to work things up from where they are now? And thats a big IF right there..... and if its just to be friends, why would I want to do it anyway? Thats obviously not what I want. And there are plenty of normal girls that he could date immediatley, I have no control whatsoever. I ****ed up all on my own.
Thanks for the input btw, if anyone else wants to chip in youre more than welcome.