Most abusers rarely change, so you have to advocate for yourself. Call the National Domestic Violence hotline, womens shelter; they can give you good advice. The abuse is NOT your fault. Abuse is a choice, always a CHOICE. He has issues you cannot help him with. Hurting animals is a HUGE red flag. you can google domestic violence on the net and get a lot of information. Please do not be a statistic. Thousands of women are murdered every year and when yo are in it, it always doesn't seem as dangerous as it really is. Abuse is literally brainwashing and that is why you feel so confused; abusers blame the victim always and take no responsibility for their behavior.

Abuse is about one thing and one thing only: CONTROL; he is using emotional blackmail to keep you with him (suicide threats, etc). I hope you will get help immediately and above all, don't let him know anything you are doing; you need a safety plan. The verbally abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans saved my life. you cannot help him; he has issues he needs to deal with (and doubtful he ever will)so you must help/save yourself. 1 in 3 women will be physically assaulted in their lifetime and it all begins with verbal abuse. He is dangerous and you need to get help immediately.