Your mom does sound like a controller. But you sound like you have gotten pretty emancipated. You sound very strong. Even if you were to make a decision that you later regret, you'll regret that less than you would regret not being your own person. Good for you making your way through the EMT training. That's a tough course. You express yourself well. That college work you did represents education that you will always have. Maybe some day you may want to pursue a degree, maybe not. Any education is an asset. Lots of young people have come out of school with a diploma, only to be disappointed to find that didn't guarantee them anything.

You are very young and well on track for your years. You may have to resign yourself to not getting a lot of validation from your mom. That's unfortunate, as much for her as for you. But you can't let yourself be manipulated. Pursue your own relationship with your grandparents . . . see if you can be with them from time to time just yourself, without it being on her turf. Try not to let her behavior get in between you and your sister. She can't be the gatekeeper for what and who can and can't be in your life. It sounds like you won't allow that. I say: Good for you.

It's nice that you want a better relationship with her. She's gotta meet you half way, though . . . or at least part of the way. When someone takes a "My way, or the Highway." attitude, you sometimes have to let go.