I'm confused. First of all, I'm pretty sure I'm mostly straight. I like girls, I want to date a girl and I want to marry a girl. I've never liked a guy but unlike most people I know I don't hate the idea of having sex with a male. I can masturebate to both straight and homosexual porn and I thought this was normal until I talked with some people. I thought that maybe I was bisexual or something but I talked with some of my bi and gay friends and what they feel are very different from what I feel. I'm certain that I can't ever love a guy.

Now here is where it gets complicated. Although I am sexually attracted to some people, I don't really like the idea of sex(I'm a virgin). I never really understood why people want sex so much. It's one of the least important things in my life. For a while I though maybe I was becoming asexual or something but apparently you can't become asexual and on top of that I still feel sexual attraction toward some people, although very few. Also the idea of having sex without an emotional relationship disgusts me. I've learned that there is a sexual orientation called demisexual. It basically means that you are only sexually attracted to someone after creating a strong emotional relationship. This is not true for me as I can feel attracted to someone I saw for the first time.

I also thought maybe it's just that my libido is really low but that also is not true. I can masturbate more than 5 times a day ( I don't anymore). But the thing that I don't really understand is, while everyone I know is trying to have sex like it's the purpose of their creation; I simply don't care about sex. And also because I'm attracted only to very few people, it's really hard finding a meaninful relationship.

Oh and another thing is that I find "boyish" things sexy in girls like small boobs, thin and skinny bodies, short hair etc. I know this doesn't make me gay, but when combined with the fact that I don't find having sex with a male repulsive, it confuses me. What the hell am I?