It sounds like your daughter and you are acting like a team in coping with her problems. Why is that? At age 29, she needs to be running her own show. The best you can do is say, "If there is anything I can do, let me know." You can say, "If you need to talk, I can listen." Then you need to mainly listen and not try to figure it all out for her. Her decision to let this guy move in obviously was foolish. But that was her decision. What she will do now is her decision. You and your husband and the rest of your family feel she needs to keep this guy out of her life. Sounds like she would be smart to reach that conclusion herself. This isn't a "team activity." This is her business. Tell her that, if she is lonely, you are there for her. Don't make her decisions for her. It sounds like she has no experience setting appropriate boundaries. Maybe that problem started in your home when she was growing up. Of course this guy is not worthy of her. but she is going from one bad guy to another. And there is likely to be yet another one coming down the pike. You need to set her a good example and focus your attention on your life. It really sounds like you are more interested in living her life. Not healthy.

What she is doing is dangerous, and I hope she gets her head on straight. As a mother, of course you are worried. But you might want to step back and give her room to breathe.