(((toesquasher)))

I'm not certain that it matters whether or not you can identify with those that you feel compelled by. It doesn't necessarily mean that you were or weren't abused. What matters is how you feel right now. If you feel blank when looking back onto an extended period time of life that you feel should be strong in your memory banks, discussing it with a professional seems to be an ideal move IMO. After all, who is to say what did or didn't occur sometime in your life, other than you??... Exactly...

Regarding your Q of why you are still so concerned about what your parent thinks about you, allowing her to dictate how you spend your free time, I think that would be another interesting Q to ask your T. Perhaps they have a professional hypothesis on what this may mean. It's hard to say ~ as we are only guessing in here.

I can assure you that a parent that cares in some dimension will bug you about some things. How much they bug you about things kind of goes with personality and perfectionism. For instance, I am a perfectionist. Not a healthy trait ~ but it's there, nevertheless. I try very hard not to show this very strong trait to my 2 daughters...but I am sure that it pops out from time to time. I love them both, with a passion, but I'm sure that I still get my desire for perfect things across to them in one way or another. Not saying that's what I hope for ~ I don't! I just know that it's a very strong trait...