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Originally Posted by hugsfromajellyfish
Hi everyone, I was recently diagnosed with BP and it's been suggested by quite a few people including my psychologist that I may have BPD as well/instead & that perhaps I need to see my psychiatrist again. Regardless of what it is, I seem to have a problem of getting quite obsessed with people. I thought it might be a BP thing but not many people on the BP forum could relate (post below). Can anyone here relate to what I'm saying, I feel quite alone in this.
(Post from BP forum):
Hi (I'm new!)
I've recently been diagnosed with BP and I'm trying to work out what's my bipolar and what is me!I can figure out most of it, but haven't read much on this (with BP) so I was wondering if anyone could tell me if they have experienced anything I say?
When I meet new friends I become pretty obsessed with them, I put them on a pedestal and nothing they do is wrong. I make them in to some sort of hero and become really upset if I don't hear back from them. I even would go as far to say that the feelings are so strong I really think I love them.
I do the same with other things - once I get an idea in my head I can't let it go, I have to have it or do it, and this has resulted in really disastrous things, the end of relationships because I thought I desperately needed to get married, or spending all my money on the latest phone just because I got the idea that I needed it in my head.
Is this normal to anyone else? Does it sound familiar? Mostly the bit about friends worries me more than anything.
(Added now)
I also go through the same sort of cycle with my partner. I love her and she's my whole world one minute, then the next I hate her, or atleast don't feel anything towards her and can't remember the feelings of love I had, I just 'know' I must love her. It makes things very difficult, especially when I become obsessed with other people, and jealousy starts to enter into it.
I'll leave it there as it's a long post, but thank you in advance everyone for reading.
x
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Hi, I relate to everything you posted and have BPD/BP--probably another one of the anxiety spectrum.
I'm surprised you didn't get responses as this sounds pretty typical borderline (from what you wrote alone.....I cannot say from this nor am I qualified to do so).
Splitting is an event in which we have emotions that are too strong in either direction. Somewhere in the middle lies the truth..I forget who said that.
The first guy I tried to date I met once, when I was 18, and thought I was in love with him. Granted, we talked for a month or so over the phone prior to meeting. We did like eachother a lot, but I would call him all the time because he said his other boyfriends never called him that much.
He eventually said he thought it would not work, given how much attention I was giving him (I'd call 3-4x a day).
I still like him, and do believe I would have been happy with him. But this was a strong idealization.
I've also had a friend who I idealized so much that I let her do things that I knew were completely stupid.
Then I hated her.
I'm not so sure the latter was a bad thing, as I was drinking far too much and was taking in heroin addicts who offered the drug to me. I stay away from hard drugs and alcohol because I've been, at some point, addicted to most of them.
This all gets worse in manic phases for me. I feel like I cannot relate at all to fantastical depictions of borderlines in movies until I become manic.
Then I swill split people in seconds. I lost all my GOOD friends by splitting them during a manic episode, largely caused by heavy alcohol consumption.
My real dad was an alcoholic, so I could drink people under a table. I found out this was not a good thing.
In short:
This is actually very common for us all I'd imagine--the "quiet" and "typical" borderlines, alike.
I'm actually going to get a tattoo of Occam's Razor once I finish my MS and land my first career job. I think it's really important for scientists AND to a larger extent--borderlines or those with borderline traits
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"Pluralitas non est ponenda sine neccesitate"
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OR in Enlgish
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"We are to admit no more causes of natural things than such as are both true and sufficient to explain their appearances."
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When we idealize, we are going far past sufficient to explain things.
Would you say that a leaky faucet was caused by Earth's gravitational change due to the Moon's placement (silly no? even to a layperson)
I mean, sure, you could, but it'd be WAYY past sufficient. It's most like the fact that you have a valve problem
Same with idealizing/hatred. Does it make sense that a person smiling at you wants to be with you for the rest of your life, or is it common courtesy socially?
Does it make sense that a person has become evil or that they did something perhaps a little unscrupulous and have reasons?
I hope this helps. I am having a tendency to write novels now. Sorry about that. Kinda hyper.