Quote:
Originally Posted by hugsfromajellyfish
No, please don't apologise, that has helped tremendously!
When I saw my psychiatrist and got diagnosed I was really depressed and was more focused on my moods and my anger, and I guess we/he/I skipped over a large part of what I do.
I feel so rejected if they don't message me back, and I say things I know I shouldn't. I'm so happy with my girlfriend, but I end up telling people how fit they are, I don't know what I'm hoping to achieve, do I just want them to want me? I really don't know. And it damages my relationship a lot. And my friendship.
I have an overwhelming need to feel needed or wanted or important. I don't understand why.
Like I said, I'm so happy in my relationship, but I can't let go of past relationships. I can't go to certain places because it reminds me of them. And I can't let go of one of my ex's. She left me before I got to the hatred stage - so all the memories I have of her are in the first stage. Her being perfect and on a pedestal, and I can't let her go. She's a horrible person but I can only remember the things that made me feel like she was amazing. I know that my partner now is amazing, I've been through the love and the hatred and fell in love all over again. But I can't let my ex go. I don't know if I'll ever be able to.
Sorry, this is my novel now!! In short, thank you so very much for your response, you have helped a whole lot! That tattoo is a great idea, too.
x
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Don't feel bad. A lot of us feel unwanted. I actually say sorry almost by default because I assume I've kind of wasted the person's time or taxed their patience.
So even though I know I do it, it's not easy to break.
Telling people they're attractive. Hmm, it depends.
I love beauty--in nature/the world. I'm 100% gay, but I've told women how pretty they were and meant it.
Maybe you just like that? And once you see them take the compliment, you are sure they don't dislike you because they give you a smile--something unambiguous.
Compliments normally allow people to put their guards down a bit, as long as it isn't oddly placed or creepy (which it can be for us sometimes if it's overwrought). It's a coping mechanism even used by non-bpds.