Quote:
Originally Posted by emgreen
Depression's been kicking my butt lately & I've been isolating a lot; I just don't feel like being around other people. In addition to curbing my urge to stop drinking, AA provides a place where I can get out of my own head & stop dwelling so much on my own demons when I feel this way. When I first started this spiral I was doubling up on meetings to fight it. Now, however, I've stopped attending meetings altogether. While I don't think this will lead me to drink, I know that isolation fuels my depression...But I still can't seem to get out of the house. I know my solution lays within this post, but I don't have the energy or will to get out & get out of my own head.
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I know how you're feeling, I'm feeling it now.
I'm going to talk about myself in response to you, I usually try not to do that because maybe it's selfish or I don't know... I'm sorry for that, I just want to relate, and I hope it is helpful for you to know that I can relate.
I opened up to someone very close to me this past weekend about my depression and I ended up hurting her very badly. Later my mother called me, and I opened up to her as well, but she just gave me a lecture. I know her heart was in the right place but that really hurt me. But ultimately I know that she is right when she tells me that this is my fault.
That is why I find no motivation to get out and find help. I feel like there's no hope and that I am just a burden. But I so desperately need help.
Despite that I really want to encourage you to get out there no matter how hard or painful it is. I am actually going to be going to my first AA meeting ever this week and I'm also getting an assessment of my behavior done with my local mental health services pretty soon. I am scared that these things are going to backfire just the same as all my other attempts to get help, but I feel I have to try, what have I got to lose? And same for you, ask yourself, what have you got to lose?