Hi Kamiomi, I've got to agree with keeprolling it does sound like depression from what you're saying. Of course depression can really alter your perspective on life but do you think that might be a good place to start? You do sound very "down" on yourself.
In terms of the "social misfit" and "not in the ranks" I'd say instead "different" (just as you have! ) and there absolutely doesn't have to be anything wrong with being different. In fact that's a unique quality you have about you and a quality others should value.
OK, you're saying that not many people do, but perhaps that's because you've not met enough of the "right" people yet. I'd say just try putting the one's who don't further from your mind, they don't really matter that much if they're not respecting/valuing you for who you are do they?! And maybe try to extend your social circle a little more to bring more people into you life who deserve to be there.
I know that might not be easy if you're feeling depressed but maybe little by little, bit by but........?
As for your college studies and you're "not intelligent" well if you're feeling depressed that's got to have a big impact on your performance hasn't it? So I'd say you've done very well getting to where you're at, now without the depression if that could be tackled a bit...........And alongside that have you tried talking to your tutors (?) about your difficulties, maybe they could support you a bit more or give you some advise on studying?
But whatever you are it is not unintelligent, remember that!! Different people are good at different things so maybe you're stronger in other "intellectual" areas. That's not to say you need to rule out the areas you're studying though, maybe get all the help and support you can, try different studying techniques and go from there.
As for careers maybe look into as many options as possible keeping an open mind, you might come across something you previously hadn't thought of that you may enjoy. And that's the most important thing isn't it, enjoying what you're doing?!!
And where did the "no talent" come from!! . Do you think maybe you haven't found a real interest/passion yet, everyone has something they are/going to be good at? Or perhaps you're underestimating things you are good at? Now that would be pretty common with depression.
And remember even if someone doesn't have a particular talent "to x degree" that absolutely doesn't make them any less important than anyone else and everyone will have their own special qualities.
So now, is there anyone in your life you can talk to about the way you've been feeling, anyone who can give you a little more support? As well as us!! I'm thinking maybe a little soon to be visiting your doctor, but what do you think? Do you think there are some other things you can be doing first to see if they help? Unless you think you need to see your doctor??
But regardless never sell yourself short!!!
Best wishes
Alison