Hi. I don't mean to seem preachy, but. You're only 19. You have so much time to figure out what niche you fit into. Even if you find yours, if it's not a great fit, you can change it. And in doing so, you will find that your life will touch others in a good way.
Have you considered seeing a doctor to try out some meds? Because staying in bed to avoid stuff you have to do really is a sign of depression. I know, I did the same thing.
Keep posting. It's good to get your feelings down and out.