Torbleh, this is a really sensitive situation. I understand your need and love to this young lady but you also have to realize she might be making things worse. You're in a very, very sensitive time- if you're still thinking of suicide, you need the people who are around you to be understanding and sympathetic. As in, you need someone who will pull you away from the bridge verses one who will push you off for annoying her.

If you're not ready to move on, you need to be patient-this is new to her as well, she may have not filtered just how serious this is yet- you two have only been together for a few months. Speak to her during good times about your condition and why you do the things you do, that you have no control over it, that you do your best, that it is not all of you, but it will be part of you and that you will be there for her, but she needs to be there for you.

But while you're being patient, she should be sympathetic with you. A relationship is supposed to be even, it can't be fun and love all the time. Bad things happen, and your partner needs to be able to carry as much weight as you do. I saw this quote from Marilyn Monroe and I think it suits this place "“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” Much love to you, I hope you find the answers you need