So sorry you feel like that. Can’t say I know what you mean exactly because I'm not sure I do. I’ve certainly felt like I’m in hell from time to (eternal, seems like) time, but as long as I’m physically alive it’s not really “eternal” yet, and so my reason tells me (perhaps erroneously but I can't be 100% sure) that there’s a chance that something could change, because that’s the way things are in the physical universe.
So, my tolerance for existence is increasing somewhat. Still horribly brutal sometimes, though.
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