I used to trust people in the beginning, then I would get paranoid and all crazy and then they would leave. I still struggle with what was real and what was in my imagination. So at this point in my life, after having lost 4 boyfriends because of my PTSD and sczhizophrenia I have accepted that some people are meant to be alone. I think if i started a relationship again, everything would be okay for a while, but then I would get suspicious and push them away as I always have. I have pets, it works for me.