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Old Feb 11, 2014, 05:12 AM
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marmaduke marmaduke is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Sep 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,239
I think maternal transference is highly unlikely to happen if a person has genuinely good parents.
A cold unloving mother (such as mine) leaves a gap, a painful lonely ache that hurts. Badly.
I can remember even as an adult a unbearable yearning for a hug, a warm cuddle from a mum (or dad) who loved me, unconditionally. I've never got one.

Nature hates a vacuum.

So if someone, a T or doctor, teacher, or friend comes along and appears to truly care, it is easy to become quickly attached.

As a child I went into hospital for 2 weeks I was 10.
The other patients were friendly. The nurses were kind. Kind. One I remember sat on my bed and held my hand as she listened to me.
This was new to me, I'd never known kindness, and someone listening to me. Yes listening to me! That person who at 'home' was so unspecial that she was not allowed to speak. Mother told me that my voice "Grated on her nerves" and she couldn't bear to listen to my "Silly twaddle'. Fearful of irritating mother I'd become silent and withdrawn trying my best to be invisible.

In hospital for the first time it felt like existed, I liked it.

Then one day nurse came and said I was ready to go home. Tears came, silent but unstoppable.
I overheard one nurse say to another "Why is she crying?" The nurse relied that "Oh shes excited to be going home"
NO. I didn't want to go home! I wanted to stay in hospital with all the kind people and my new friends!
I look back and think I had become institutionalised very quickly. I liked the security, the company, the nurses. I didn't want to go back to mother, father, and the outside world.
A unloved neglected child (or adult) will look for love and attention and if they think they've found it its like finding a oasis in a desert.
Hugs from:
Favorite Jeans, Freewilled, Gavinandnikki, newday2020, unaluna, Yearning0723
Thanks for this!
Favorite Jeans, Freewilled, growlithing, unaluna, Yearning0723