It sounds like his "Love Language" is completely different from yours.
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He maybe doesn't work in verbal affirmations. Maybe you two could come together and figure out how each of you communicate and then both work on giving each other the communication you need?
As for everyone thinking you can't handle things, that's a bit more tricky. Again, I think it starts with communication. When they say something that "wasn't meant that way" repeat back to them how you're hearing it. Something like, "What I'm hearing you say is that I'm just a child that can't deal with this situation." It will help them clarify what they are saying and reinforce on them how they should structure their conversations.