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Old Feb 11, 2014, 10:15 AM
anon20140705
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I speak as one who didn't get a license to drive a car until just under a year ago, and I'm 49. Family had assumed I was too emotionally unstable to learn, and so didn't bother teaching me. They'll say, if confronted, that they hadn't realized I had wanted to learn, and had thought it was my own choice because I was too full of anxiety. This despite the fact that I had on numerous occasions asked if someone would teach me, and I got a lot of "Yeah, sure, I'll teach you," but until my husband came along, nobody actually stepped up and did. By not teaching me vital life skills they assumed I wouldn't be able to learn, they made it a self-fulfilling prophecy that I wouldn't be as independent as the rest of them, and would then need them to look after me. Some of the messages were subtle, and some were more blatant. I remember the family going to Disney World and standing in line for Space Mountain, and as we were waiting, the whole topic of conversation among everybody else was how I was going to totally lose my (ahem) on the ride. I just wouldn't be able to handle it!

That made me mad. I didn't utter a squeak on the ride, as it turned out. Yes, I had my eyes closed the whole time, but it was more important to prove them wrong. Boy, if you want to make me very angry very fast, assume I'm going to mess something up before I even have a chance to try it.