Wow even though I am female I can relate to a lot of what you are going through. Especially your personality traits of putting others first and struggles to figure out why things are horrible for you despite all of your good qualities. I'm nine years older than you and want to let you know things can and will get better. You may want to read the book by sam obitz on overcoming anxiety and depression because i think you will relate to his story. It was the first book we read in my a cbt group and it has turned my life around and built my self esteem up at the same time. I think you might find success with cbt if you dedicate yourself to doing the exercises. I hope this is helpful to you and I hope you feel better soon because you sound like a great guy!