This is all so right on !!!!!!

Omg ! Ive been told everything from:
I‘m manipulative, i like attention, I'm sneaky, I'm crazy and need to be on medication, I'm selfish, not stable, not trustworthy, i don't even know myself so how can he even trust me, I'm content with the way i am and that's why i haven't changed, if i know im so useless then why don't i just go ahead and kill myself (that one was to prove that i say these things just for attention not because i really am serious about suicide), that i dont care about anyone except myself and that when I'm seeing "red" i will do anything in anger to hurt him because I'm selfish..............

There was no understanding, still after being told that i believe im BPD there has been no looking into it.

Hes actually pretty wonderful now but theres so much in our past, theres so many of my own demons that just ruin so much, but.....so goes life