For me, the pattern on negative thinking has been repeated for so many years it was almost solidified in stone so it took a really long time trying to rewire it into positive or at least neutral thinking so it really is quite difficult.

I'm in the same boat with the whole apathy thing. At the very least it's a little easier to do stuff than before but sometimes I pause in the middle of something and kind of just wonder what I am doing it all for.

I guess for me, a more major turning point was when I upped my medication dosage during a particularly tough time (under recommendation of my prescriber) and pretty much went manic for a few weeks. It was so exciting and fresh and I had been so sad for so long. Really if I can get just a little bit of that back in my life I'll be happy.

The major problem with motivation is that I've found that it usually comes from fear or hope. Which are both difficult to get a hold of when you're depressed. Sorry I don't know the answer

Best of luck!