I feel exactly as you all have described when in that deep pit, meds helps some however found that over the years "working" at depression has caused more harm in general. I came across a teaching about acceptance of (whatever illness inserted here......)depression, anxiety, or say arthritis, diabetes, and to be more compassionate for ourselves first. Maybe, this will be helpful when times we are feeling ill. Any and all small kindness we extend to ourselves is helpful. Feel better soon.
Jade