Today... I slept through breakfast. Woke up at lunch time. Hadn't got my socks on when the dog was about to crap on my carpet. I managed to stop her by picking her up and carrying her outside despite having nothing on my feet and it was freezing. I just headed back inside with the dog when the postman handed me a couple of letters, he must have thought I was strange. Either way I never blame the dog... Can't do. Her bowel control is still off. So instead I took it out on myself. I call myself so many horrible names. It's just who I am. I can't take a compliment, but I can take insults. Anyway, one letter was for me. Inside was a card with lovely words inside it. A friend had sent me some money to help me with my financial trouble. Some of it was for the rent and the rest was for food. I felt embarrassed because she basically is trying to bail me out. I have no source of income. I'm still waiting for some word on whether I've been accepted for income support. And I'm struggling to afford the rent. It feels like I'm scrounging when I never even asked for any money. I just couldn't ever ask for it in the first place. It wouldn't feel right if I did. But I'm incredibly grateful for what she has done for me. Tonight I made a healthy meal for me and my brother. It wasn't a frozen shop brand microwave meal. I made it using the microwave. But everything was fresh. All fresh vegetables, meat and rice with a bit of vegetable stock. It was an experiment of mine that turned out to be successful. And my brother seemed to appreciate me taking the time to make a filling meal for the two of us. So much so that he bought my favourite kind of energy drink in my favourite flavour. Tea and still lemonade flavour. And I don't have a clue why, but despite people being so nice to me, I feel like hell. Not as in physically sick... More of mental torture and I can't even tell what's going on in my head anymore. It's messed up...