Lily, I hope that you will start to change the way that you talk to yourself and think about yourself. I understand it because I do the same thing, but as long as you are sending yourself those messages, nobody else will be able to get through to you and show you that you are worth so much more, because you will keep overriding any positive messages. The messages (that you are worth something and don't deserve to be hurt) are true, but your filters won't let you feel it.