Well, since I do want to get to the bottom of things, I was as honest as I possibly could be. I know what you mean, though. People can be in such strong denial that they don't realize they're being dishonest, which doesn't make them liars at all, but does make them in denial. Part of the testing included feedback from my family. What my mother and brother said, what my husband said, what my testing showed, it was all actually pretty consistent, my psychologist told me. Except that my mother and brother are in denial about any abuse happening that could possibly have left me damaged. Big surprise there. (Not.)

The important issue, I think, is not what label we put on things, but how to manage it. I can very much relate to many things people with diagnosed borderline say and go through. I also understand the invalidation. I've had some so-called professionals not want to work with me because they saw that label of "borderline" and thought "manipulative, attention-seeking, and overly dramatic." As a result I've had my strong emotional reactions downplayed and dismissed as just me playing games, because "that's what borderlines do." Now having the testing rule out borderline makes me want to say to those people, "Take your stereotype and shove it."

Of course, that can apply to any psych diagnosis at all. Someone with depression can be crying because their dog got run over by a car, and right away it's, "Did you take your medicine today?" Hey, just because a person has depression doesn't mean every time they're sad, it's a symptom. People with depression can be sad for legitimate reasons. People with borderline personality can be angry and distrustful for legitimate reasons. But so many times, the only thing anybody else (including professionals) can see is the label, and they look at all behavior through that filter.