To answer this more completely I guess requires more of the story. It's the part where the feelings get blurry. I feel like it would be devastating for the world to find out after all of these years. But even more so, how can anyone reconcile that sister and I view that it was consensual as much as it can be at that age. We haven't had sex as adults. That ended years ago in our teens. But its almost like when we have discussed it as adults the conversations were more like Hey...Do you remember the time when this or that happened and then we laugh about how crazy the story is. We've googled stuff like how did it fit? She was in kindergarten when it started. We've researched if we are the only ones who view what happened the way we do. It's not natural to remember the first time you had sex and it was when you were six and it was with your sister who was eight. But we can either one recount that story like it was yesterday. We don't often, but it inevitably happens every couple of years. That story or another one usually triggered by something. We can recount details like it happened yesterday. We laugh that we can't remember where mom or dad was. Can't remember being concerned about getting caught, or anything like that. I mean we slept in the same bed so it wasn't like opportunity wasn't always there. We had sex nearly daily. Stories recanted are more so not about us having sex but me hiding and watching her and dad have sex when she knew I was there but he didn't, or like when she would tease the men in church while acting oblivious to it while knowing I knew and was watching what she was doing. Us cutting the crotch out of her panties that she wore to church. Laughing about how short the dresses were back then. Even Sunday dresses. It's like we shouldn't be laughing about it. Like we should feel ashamed about it but laugh and joke about how bad we were being instead. It's crazy feeling because I feel like I am required to be disgusted or ashamed. But we laugh to tears about some of the crazy things we did and thank our lucky stars that we did not live in the age of phone cameras and video. So in answer to your question, yes it is all associated with the pleasure that the sex had and the thrill of how bad we were being.