Dear Karen65,

Are you currently consulting a therapist. It would be a good idea as they would be in a better position to analyze it.

What you have described could indicate sexual abuse at an early age. It may have been your family or someone your family trusted (say an uncle or family friend). Maybe something happened when you were a toddler? Ppl say that you may not remember abuse, but abuse always finds one way or another to come out.

Kindly start consulting a therapist.

Good luck!