You guys all bring up really good points. I just wish that I could apply them. I am keeping my apartment, but there is nothing to do in the neighboring towns, so I would be in the same boat: staying at home all of the time and interacting with few. Plus, I have two jobs here.

I wish that I could find new people to hang out with. I live in a small city, so yeah. Even when I meet new people and we talk about hanging out, it never happens. A lot of my positive friends got GFs and went off of the radar. I was seeing a really great guy who lives in the neighboring city. However, our schedules clashed and he doesn't seem interested in getting together anymore. This would happen Vday weekend and the weekend of my play.

I feel hopeless. I don't belong. Nothing I do changes anything. I denied going out with a friend tonight because all she wants to do is drink all the time and I am not that person anymore.

I am a really hard worker. I am used to putting effort into things and seeing results. I can't control others. The only thing that I can do is cry and wait it all out and hope to God that Beijing treats me better.