I'm also always faking smiles and laughter. I always think of the past when I used to really enjoy doing things... but now all I feel is this emptiness. Every day... is just another day. Yet I have no reason to be depressed, because there are so many other people who are worse off than me.

I don't know what happiness is. But now I think that happiness is something people created.

I can just call this painful emptiness in my heart 'happiness'. I can smile and tell myself that I am not just pretending, I am really happy. I can tell myself that going through the motions day by day is true happiness.

This is what I tell myself everyday. But there's still the fact that such happiness is a painful one... but I'll just tell myself that happiness is supposed to be painful...

Friend, I wish you best of luck in finding your happiness. Sometimes I just tell myself that to be human is to feel sadness. Happiness doesn't exist. It is just a dream... a wish. People who say that they are 'happy' are just like us, telling themselves that what they are experiencing is 'happiness'... but perhaps they too are lying to themselves and lying to the world.

Sometimes, it's best to just assure yourself that happiness is a lie. There's no such thing. It's a man-created dream.