Those who are going to repply, please read the whole post:

When my h and I had been married for approx 7 years, I did a flex drill in the military reserves, that means you go away from home for 6 days and you don't have to drill for 3 months.
Back then my marriage was as bad as it is now. Many of you know my story, but for those that don't my marriage is loaded with loneliness, verbal abuse, fear of him, sadness and a very small support system. Anyway, I was eating at the restaurant where military reservist had to eat and the Mgr kept on flirting with me. It made me uncomfortable, so I asked a friend of my h who was also drilling if he would come with me so the Mgr would quit. He said "sure". From that point on we ate together, like good friends do, and I felt ok because he was also a friend of my h.
By Friday, after dinner a group of military reservist were going to go out, so I went along. It had been years since the last time I had fun. As it got late, my h's friend and I found ourselves by ourselves so I figure it was time to go. He gave me a ride to the hotel all of us were staying and during the ride he started talking about his personal life. He was happy sharing about his daughter, etc. Out of the blue we kissed (yes, we, me too). Then I realized what I have done and tried to get out of the car as we had just parked at the hotel. He didn't let me out. I didn't know what to do.
I wanted to scream for help, but was embarazed to do it, because after all, what the heck was I, a married woman, doing in his car late at night, even he was just giving me a ride, it was unapropriate. I tried to scape but couldn't, and saddly, once I realized there was no escaping, I just let things happen without fighting any more.
The next day was very bad, didn't talk to each other, didn't exchange eye contact, etc. even we were stuck in the same room. I drove home that evening and was the longest drive ever. When I came home I felt like I had cheated my husband and I told myself I was going to make love to him like I never had, and was going to forget what had happened.
When I came home, I put on the cutest lingere and make up and started flirting with him, as it turned out, a re-run of the Brady Bunch was more appealing to him, and well, my marriage continued to be my marriaged. Sad, lonely, depressing, self-steam killing, etc.
Until one day, loneliness got the best of me and I called the military kid, and that turned into another one night stand except that it was during the day, and this time around I was not trapped. I did it voluntarily.
I couldn't stand the thought of having an affair so I left my husband and filed for divorce. But no support system, no family on my side, and everybody paying attention to the affair more than the true terrible issues in my marriage, I ended up loosing the battle and came back to him.
It's been quite a few years now, I feel as lonely as I ever did, still sad, still afraid, now carying the heavy load on my shoulders of the sinfull mistake I made, with everybody thinking he is a great man because he took me back, and now with three children that I adore and are the reason of my life.
I want out, I just want to be me and my children. I am tired of carying the load of the affair, and I am tired of being so down on myself.
Anyway, I just needed to get this off my shoulders.

gab