Interesting! I live in the south and I was born here...but all of my relatives, including my parents, are from the north. I have never called anyone ma'am and it makes me cringe..as do darlin', honey, etc. Young lady does as well indeed remind me of getting in trouble!!
My first name makes the most sense to me to be called by since it was what my parents chose to name me...Ms. Whatever makes me feel old. (I am in my mid-thirties.) I always called my parents friends by their first names as they always told me to. I do not do that now unless I am "familiar" with someone...I do call people Mr. or Ms./Mrs. if the situation is appropriate.
I will say that I had always better say please and thank you as a child and still do to this day!!