I definitely feel that how "we were raised" has alot to do with the people we are today. I also believe that it effects us in a negative and positive way.

Some of us may spend all of our energies trying not to be like our parents. Then there are times when we feel we are just like them. It's a battle for sure.

I think for me, and the fact that I was able to resolve my "past issues" with my Mother brings a sense of closure on our past. Since my mother and I have been able to put all of it behind us, mostly for healing purposes but also, my mother was able to look back and realize her mistakes and that was a growth process not only for me, but for her as well.

For many, many years I was branded as the family "misfit" or the ever so popular "blacksheep". I was always so open, honest and bold. My family didn't know how to deal with that so they like to call me the problem. Fact is, I had hidden behind all of that agression and anger because I was always afraid of letting anyone see me hurt, cry or be vulnerable. If they had seen my that way, it always made me feel that they had got the better of me.

It wasnt until my adulthood when I was able to sit down with my Mom and explain to her why I was the way I was. The details were not pretty, but she understood for the first time exactly who I was and it was a wonderful moment for both of us.

I can not say I have had the same experience with my father. I basically have come to terms that he will never take responsibility for his actions, for his haneous actions. He will never admit fault. Even though I have such intense anger with him, he is after all still my father and I will forever try with all my might to never turn out to be like him.

Sorry, I kinda went off on a tangin. I think this is a great post. It gives us all the chance to reflect.

Thank you for letting me add my experience.