Hi Gloria, It's time to forgive yourself for your mistakes. You can't change what happened then and have never done it again. You have children now and you need to address the problems you still have with your marriage and your hubby. Talk to a therapist to see what would help pull you out of this.

After I left my abusive marriage, I had to go to counseling to put my life and my children's lives back together. In fact while married, I was held like a prisoner in my own home. After leaving, I enrolled in school and completed degrees, which I would was prevented to do while married and worked a job.. I had to learn to forgive myself for not getting us out sooner. Things were financially difficult for us, but we are all (my kids and I) are so much happier...and there is love and peace in our home.

I'm not suggesting that you break up your home, by any means, but do mean that you need to forgive yourself first for not being perfect. Good luck!