My psychiatrist told me that one gets some tendencies, but also there is modeling, I mean, we see how our parents behave and we take those patters. But that then we can do something to modify ourselves, that is why there is therapy and there are meds, among other stuff.
At least you are intelligent to perceive there are some shortcomings you want to change. It is worse when one does not realize there is something one should change or at least try. You feel unhappy and you want to do something about it, I think this is good. Normally, I read your posts, and I like them, even they are sad, because you seem to be sincere and self-conscious. I do not think that your posts are boring, at all. Sometimes I do not replay to them because I do not know what to say. I believe you will find the way to be happier. You are a young woman, you need time and the right assistance. But, i do not know, I believe you will make it