I have learned that anything is possible. I have been reading "The invisible wound" a survivors guide to child sexual abuse. It has been most helpful to me in helping to put missing peaces together.

I have similar issues as you do. I have lots of signs, lots and lots. But I have no whole memories. I have little bits and pieces, some strange dreams, weird sensations but no hard evidence. I have found some interesting things out about my family. I have discovered more strange things about me. The T tells me, to write down everything I think and dream in a note book for future reference. Even if something didn't happen sexually as a child I certinly have things to be worked threw.

I am like you. I really don;t want to think it was my dad. I love my dad. I don't want what ever I do find to tear my family apart. So do we go on living as nothing happened because it might not have or do we press the issue and find mental peace but risk tearing apart my family. IDK the right answer.

Just know that I do hear you. I do understand how frustrating it can be. I would find a T to talk to about this. If you ever need anyone to talk to please don't hesitate to PM me. Feel free to look around on my name, I have posted lots of threads regarding this very issue. Maybe something there could help you to.

Again if you need anyting feel free to PM me. Big HUGS (if it is ok)