I say a lot my memory is terrible, no one in my family really believes me, my doctor just told me too that I have a good memory, my father used to say that my memory was my "legendary skill". But I totaly forget things, it's impressive. I was filling the depression quizzes in the other day for the psicologist, and of course there was there the question, do you think in about suicide. I did ansear the option just a little. An right now I remember that I had been some weeks with this thought in my mind "your lived enough, get real, if a year from now, you were feeling the same or just a slight better you should end up your life, you just give it to many tries (to live, to health)". It was in December...it was like a swer (????). A rational thought about me. And sometimes I enjoy the idea of getting a professional killer to shut me in the head. Sireasly (??????) how I'm I supose to believe in what I think my behaviour is.