I just have such a hard time... I think part of it is the death of 6 close friends. Another is well... I know what it is i think, it's just that I can't controll what's happening. I don't even realize thaat I'm doind\g it you know, I just do it with out thinking. I do have a theripist, and she's threatening me with being sent to a suicidal teen lock down facility, becuase on top of all this, I've tried killing myself several times. She says that I need to face my problems and work them out, rather then make them simply fade away... Which is what she says I'm trying to do.