Hi, really feeling for you. I can understand how you may be feeling, exposed/vulnerable/helpless (??) right now, but maybe try to see the support your mother is giving you as a "functional" thing. It needn't necessarily take anything from you as YOURSELF. You're still entirely that in your head, in your mind, in your thoughts, in your opinions..........in just being you. And that can be so much stronger so much more "real" than "physicality".
And now you can speak up so much more and say what you want than when you were a youngster.
In fact, when your mother is giving you support are you "leading" that? saying exactly how you want it? I'd say that control in that area is SO important e.g. do you want her to put your socks on after your jumper or before? left or right first? If you haven't any preferences maybe think of some and that still allows for your individuality.
I know you probably want her support to be as quick as possible (maybe try to block out/or just feel uncomfortable) but it might help if you stretch it out to be able to do as much as you can yourself even if it takes 15 mins just to pull up a sock (that is still independence, that is still you taking control!!)???
It does sound like you've come a long way though, although "feeding yourself and doing basic functions" might seem smallish (?), not yet enough to you, that is a major accomplishment!! And in such a short time!!! So perhaps have a lot more confidence in YOU. Regaining as much function as you can, can take time, practice, persistence (as I'm sure you know!) but you're making BIG tracks, perhaps just focus on the goal- to do as much as you can- and try to do as much as possible. Even "exercises" can help a lot. Have you had anyone like a rehab or Occupational therapists (at least they're called that in my country ) helping you? And maybe groups/social groups for people who have experienced neck/spinal injuries? It can help some people knowing/sharing with others who are going through/have been through the exact same thing.
And, do you think talking to your doctor about your depression might help whether that's through shorter term medication and/or counseling/therapy??
But remember you are STILL YOU, and you CAN still have hopes, dreams and goals personal/meaningful to you!!!
But best wishes and if you want to talk more.....here for you.
Alison