Hi, I'd say if you really want him to be a part of your life it may be possible for it to work if you really want it enough (even thinking on it sentimentally as a link to your grandpa/dad or as family). But that is probably going to need you to adjust your expectations/wishes of how that relationship is/is going to be either short or longer term.
You're saying you don't think he has done anything unforgivable but he has hurt you and you would have liked him to have done things differently.
So allow yourself to feel that way. You can still put in some foundations for ongoing contact with him while not invalidating your feelings. Maybe just see it as "testing the waters". He may not live up to all you'd want but then again if you go into it "with your eyes open" he may still be able to offer you something that's going to mean something to you regardless. Just make sure you're prepared in case that happens though.
And ten years ago with the e-mail/not getting back to you was a long time, for all we know he may be more "responsive" now if you wanted to mention a few things from the past. Maybe even at the time he just didn't have words to express........felt guilty that had happened to you............didn't know how to handle it...........felt helpless............wanted to comfort you but didn't know how...........?????????
Just remember though that there's no "supposed to find a way to reconcile" it's all about whether you really want that. If you don't or you think it might be too uncomfortable/hurtful (even if you love hm!) then that's absolutely fine/understandable!!. Then, if you do want that, then there's nothing wrong with starting slowly e.g. phone calls........and allowing him the chance to show you whether you want him to stay part of your life or not. One step at a time, and remember to put yourself and your feelings first.
Alison