(((((((((((((((SeptemberMorn)))))))))))))))) I am so sorry that all this is coming up now. Maybe something happened that triggered your thinking of him? Even reminiscing may bring back unresolved issues. The only thing I know to do is to work through what happened in the past. I am guessing that there were many conflicting emotions from when you were young. Maybe they need processing? I know I didn't even start dealing with any of my abuse until very many years later. I hope I was some help and am sorry you are going through this.