Hi all, I just wanted to share my story really and hope that it gives someone a bit of inspiration and hope at least. I started drinking when I was 13, by the age of 15 I had been drinking so much already that I got a liver infection third degree, the doctor told me there was as much alcohol in my body as in a chronic old alcoholic, I was very ill for half a year. An overdose helped bring it on too. At age 16 I started doing coke, cannabis and E's. When I was 18 my boyfriend was a heroin addict and I ended up one as well as well as crack addict and also on a high dose of methadone. I got clean of heroin but switched my addiction to benzodiazepines. However, I eventually got clean from ALL of the above at 21. It was HELL. The heroin and methadone addiction was the worst to get clean from, it was a merciless torture. Only if you've ever gone through it and gone cold turkey will you understand the cold pain of it. It was probably the hardest thing I've ever done, I'm 25 now. I have recurring depression with psychotic symptoms and I'm on medication but my symptoms still get bad from time to time. Because I'm on meds I can't drink and drink has always been the devil for me, the one I always go back to. But it's been a while since I had a drink now and although I will crave it I've been good lately. All I'm saying is it is possible to get clean but only on one condition, you really have to want it just for yourself or it's never going to happen. You have to have such a strong will power! But whoever is out there trying, don't give up, you can get out of it eventually! But I know how hard it is, I've been there and I feel immensely for you! I will never forget what it did to me it was like I was another person on drugs and that person died a little when I stopped, it feels a bit like I'm broken because of it. But it was worth it in the end.
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Don't let your happiness depend on something you might one day lose... 
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Effexor XR 225 mg
Risperidone 4 mg
Reoccurring depression w/ psychotic symptoms
Borderline Personality Disorder
Dependant Personality Disorder
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