So I woke up this morning at least expecting a "happy valentines day babe" or a love note. I woke up hoping, but when I found nothing I pretty much asked myself "If i was actually surprised" I know me and my boyfriend don't have any money right now until the beginning of the month. So he can't get me anything, and we can't go on a date or anything like that. But you can still be romantic, and show someone you are thinking about them without having any money? I'm just so frustrated because the other day I told him I needed him to be more affectionate because I felt like we were distant, but it turned into him saying he's not being able to because I was awful to him and hurt him the past. (so basically saying he was hostile about everything) but I believe us hurting each other was pretty damn mutual. I used to be a bit of a pill. I would lash out, and have crazy episodes. But I know it's mental health issues, and I'm working on getting my emotions more stabilized, and I have gotten a lot better at handling things.

Last valentines day was awful I spent it drunk on a couch by myself listening to music when I was dating someone else (because he was a bit of a ***). Today is always the worse day. My fb newsfeed is all girls who are like " look at how romantic and awesome my boyfriend is, we get to do this together, and he got me this" and I'm just sitting over here like " pfft that's great for you and everything"