I feel the exact same way.... and I have for days. I don't quite understand it either.... but I have reasons as to why. I feel like life is relatively pointless.. I feel like there is no reason that I should have to suffer through it either... Because we live in an imperfect world, there will always be ups and downs ... so why even bother trying? I'm going to end up at the bottom again anyways... and I am borderline... no one gets it... No one gets that I hate myself... No one gets that as much as things are going to supposedly get better they really aren't. They're going to appear like they're getting better, and then reality sets in and it's **** again... I try all the right things and DBT skills and nothing works... I feel like I have nothing to look forward to.