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zinco14532323, " One thing I hate the most is people telling me that if I would just get out and exercise or change my diet or do this or do that or think positive i would get better." This is something I do not understand. How could you not feel a little bit brighter(even for a short time), if you went for a walk on a beautiful day? How can thinking positive make you feel worse? "when someone tells you those things you feel really judged and as if you are not trying." I think this is what is starting to happen and I'm not sure how to correct it.
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The thing is when I am in a very severe depression I am not capable of doing those things. It is like telling someone with cancer to just think their cancer cells away. For me it is a very biological disease. A very little understood disease of the brain. It sounds like your friend is doing the right things by going on meds and therapy. When I am feeling good enough I will naturally do those things. When I am in bad shape I have to really force myself to do those things. I can go two weeks without taking a shower and then one day just get up and take a shower. If someone tells me I need to take a shower it just pisses me off and I feel judged. It is a tough thing because proffesional therapist do use behavioural modification to try to get patients to do those things. Behaviour does affect brain chemistry. Baby steps is sometimes the best approach. Brush your teeth then tie your shoes and maybe that is all you can do that day.
I feel for you because I often think my disease is harder on those around me than it is on myself. I have been living with it my whole life and am used to it. I recently moved home to Michigan from CA and all my family is here. It is very hard for them to understand and deal with. I admire you very much for posting on here and asking for input.