I'm sorry you had a relapse. I have had severe depression since I was 14 and I just turned 53. I have fought it for many years.
I am currently on two different anti-depressants and I will go along for months and think I have it beat and think, OK, now I don't need the meds anymore and will be ok and then out of no where, I am just as depressed as when I first started. So, back on the meds I go.
I so wish I could go off them. But, I like feeling better more.
Don't get me wrong, I will sometimes get depressed even on the meds but it won't last as long. I can somehow get over it quicker.
I'm wishing you all the best.
Hugs,
Boopers