Ok, so my T is of the philosophy that the client determines the length of therapy and whether they can have post-therapy contact (I'm not talking about friends, just leaving the door open for future sessions, or calling if needed, etc...). She has said that she won't ever kick me out of therapy or abandon me when I need her, and that it is completely up to me when to leave and what to work on. She is very available and extremely caring and lots of others things. She also has relatively relaxed boundaries when it comes to time and the "therapeutic hour". Her focus is way more on connection, attachment, feelings, and re-experiencing the past in order to change it and make it better (for example, facing a situation that is triggering and causes anxiety, and learning that it won't end the same way as the past traumatic experience ended).

But for some reason, all of this causes so much anxiety in me. I know part of it is that I am afraid that all of this isn't real and that eventually she will change and become someone else from what I know. But part of it is very confusing because I don't understand what is making me anxious. It has to do with the fact that she cares and the fact that she is willing to be so dedicated to helping me get better. You would think knowing this would cause me to relax and trust her more, but for me, it is causing me to freak out. I just can't relax and trust that what she is saying is true and reliable.

What the heck is going on? Why can't I just accept her at her word? Why can't I believe her or trust her?