Thank you for replying, people.

Leah, that's a good suggestion re meeting someone new in a free way. I live in London and Craigslist here is mostly guys trying to get laid but there's another site called meetup where I'm going to have a look for some free social activities perhaps like book clubs and things.

Freewilled & Elsewhere - I think the pdoc feels I'm not depressed because I do get a lot of pleasure out of many things. I love my job and really want to make a successful career in my field. I have loads of interests that I am passionate about. I enjoy being with friends. I just am very low on vital resources which means I don't really get to indulge my interests or in socializing much. I see so much beauty and goodness in the world, it makes me really happy to know it's there even if it does make me sad that I can't seem to connect with it, if that makes sense. So all these things I take to mean I'm not really depressed as such? Though when I have days where it is a horrendous struggle to do ANYTHING then yes, I do wonder is this just a version of depression? Two days this week I haven't left the house, just slept the time away because I cannot tolerate being awake and aware of what my circumstances are. Reading that back, it doesn't sound good does it I'm struggling with self care, not eating properly and as I have type 1 diabetes this is a big deal. But I just can't make myself. Earlier today I forced down a piece of bread so the painkillers I took (nearly vomiting from intense physical pain today as well, ha I really had a great day ) weren't going down on an empty stomach. I did eat a sandwich around midnight though.

I am so at a loss.

Elsewhere, my therapist did recommend this guy, because he is an old and trusted friend and because he takes very low-fee people like me and because the NHS (free healthcare here in the UK) deemed me fine and healthy at an assessment and so would not refer me to anyone before Christmas. This pdoc really wasn't at fault, and I'm glad he was honest about the whole meds not working when my life is **** thing.

Not sure where to go from here. I suppose the only way is up.