I understand this too. It's incredibly frustrating and annoying. I think I'm so over it, and then relapse and feel doubts creeping in - and go looking for reassurance. I used to really despise myself for wanting reassurance, and argued with my therapist that I felt like I was 'winning' if I didn't let myself reach out and ask for it, except of course I wasn't winning at anything - I was simply withdrawing from her a bit and pretending all was fine and making myself act in the way I thought I should act.

Then she explained it to me like this - that some of the most brilliant people look for reassurance because they genuinely want to learn something that is really important to them - that how we master something is seeking consistency in others offering us feedback and reassurance. She likened it to Tiger Woods who is obviously one of the best at what he does, (in his words) not because he was born a brilliant golfer, but because he continually seeks out people to be coached by, to help him reflect on his learning and maintain mastery.

This really helped me come to terms with my reassurance seeking - now I just suck it up and ask for it when I get to that anxious place of doubt or incredulity that she is still here, without also berating myself (well, much) for asking in the first place.