I've been in therapy for about one year now....I think everyone forms some kind of attachment to their T at this point. I know for sure mine is not secure, but most likely ambivalent or disorganized.

I have a very push-pull relationship with him, although it's more push than anything else. I go to therapy because my problems are causing me to despair. I don't know what else to do. It just so happens that my stupid relational issues are making it so hard to get help for the other stuff. Maybe it's all related? Idk.....I hold out hope I will be able to break through this.

I would love to have a close, secure attachment with my T because he can be so warm, caring and safe. For whatever reason though my automatic reaction to feeling loved or cared about is to detach and push away. It's more than just move toward my T even though I don't feel like it. It's more like I don't control my feelings - even when I force myself to go against every fiber of my being and to trust the relationship - it's like I'm frozen. I don't know how else to describe it. Sure is exhausting....