In your relationship(s), there is a person who initiates sex, and often there is a dominant partner. In my relationships, discounting what you would call prick teasing but not done on purpose, we used to or are in tune with one another and nobody really is the initiator, nor is anybody dominant.

Rather than say "in sex there is", you can say "in sex as I know it, there is", and that would make a world of difference.